alright! so, today I decided to have a little fun and get drunk at an early hour. [and i mean early like "alcoholic" early...but frack it] 

well I must admit that I am still very much intoxicated…so this may not make a whole lot of sense. but rock and roll anyway, am I right? fuckin aye I’m right.

so I decided today that i am going to begin a project based on character driven plot.  I havn’t always appresiated them, generally I cast them aside as soap operas due to the fact nothing really happens and the smallest thing becomes huge. I kinda dig that now.  I mean how better to gain an audience than to have them relate entirely with it. I could come up with an amazing storyline, but it could suck hard if no can get into the characters and relate in some way.   Mostly my works are involving tragedy plots. (I know, big surprise yeah?)  But I was just hit by a huge frackin truck called inspiration, it opened huge new doors to me (and they’re the cool revolving ones I loved so much as a child)…and windows, and even some skylights or two. hmm?… I was fascinated by the fact that these works are intense and emotional,  while delivering gut-wrenching dialogue, attachment and a plot line (while weak) deep and emotional.   I have a script already done, but i’m completely redoing it now. I’m going to write a tangent script in this different style. it may not be better, but it’s practically almost a different medium in film. I’ve psyched to try this out, just to see if this plot can work a couple of different ways. if not I can just use part of it in an improved version. hells yes. excitement. ’bout fracken time.

hmmmmmmmmm?…oh yeah, I had a conversation yesterday with a friend about stress and the breaking point in people. lets be honest, everything and everyone has one. hell, even my brother Jorma is studying to become a mechanical engineer and he can verify, that scientifically speaking, everything has a structural integrity with a breaking point. it’s inevitable.  Let it be a bridge or a human body…even a soul has a limit to which it can endure. though he doesn’t believe in a emotional breaking point. he’s under the impression that one must always, under every moment, push themself to the ultimate extreme. Yes, that can be a helpful stance in life, it can als be detrimental.  Yes it’s good to push beyond what you think you can do, but that just seems extreme.  Shouldn’t there be a time to stand back and choose whether or not it’s appropriate?  I don’t know, maybe it was brought up because of my fear knowing that I will be pushed in the military…and well, of course my inability to not push back.  I can’t help it, I hate to admit it, But I have a serious problem with authority. wait…no, I have a huge problem with stupidity in authority.  I fear that I may snap while in the military and be dishonorably discharged, maybe I can’t “Hack” it.  Maybe I get too pissed off and end up punching  a D.I. in the throat.  nothing is more terrifying than the unknown, and my future is most certainly that.  Maybe I’m freaking out for no reason, maybe I’m perfectly justified, maybe I have no frackin clue as to what I’m rambling about. meh, I don’t much care anymore!

OH! yeah that whole stupidity in authority thing reminded me of something a little while back. I want to give an example of a retarded cop, and my inability to not be a smart-ass.  My friend Matt and I run for excersise late at night after work, Sadly it had been snowing for two days and the roads were covered in Ice…not the safest place to run. So we decide to go to the North Medford high school’s track.when we had just begun to run a Douche cop and turkey bacon pull up and call on their loudspeaker to get off the premis. Now we weren’t being suspicious or anything, dressed in full running atire, even wearing music bands, we were obviously just getting excersise. But no. they yell at us about twice and we head towords tham, and halfway one yells that he’s “gonna drag us out of there.”  Without being able to think twice I yell “Are you still fucking talking?!!”  matt looks at me with huge eyes and a mouth slightly agape in disbelief, and I realize what i had just done. Captain Smart-ass strikes again.  I know that not all cops are retarted, just this one.