holy shit

“Power in excess caused the angels to fall, knowledge in excess caused man to fall”

A Black hole, on Earth. An artificial Black Hole, On Earth. A man-made artificial Black Hole, on Earth!! C’mon, how does this sound like a good idea?

Scientists have decided to that they will destroy the universe a little sooner than originally planned. In September of this year, the Large Hadron Reactor is to be activated…once again let me reiterate…ON EARTH!!!!

I can understand, even admire, the significance and innovation this project shows. …wait; I’m just gonna back the fuck up and elaborate on this machine. The Large Hadron Reactor is huge circular tube 17 miles long on the borders of Switzerland and France, and miles below the surface. Lined with electromagnets, this machine propels “Super-Particles” (I know) traveling in opposite directions. Once they’ve reached the speed of light the particles crash into each other to form massive amounts of energy, enough energy to create a Black Hole. You know the cosmic anomaly that has the tendency to suck everything around it into oblivion. Yeah, sounds like a genius idea, doesn’t it? To me, this is simply insanity incarnate. The second I heard about this a million ideas leaped to mind… all apocalyptic: from the Black Hole crushing the planet into cosmic dust, to the possibility of severing the bond that may (or may not) bind this plane of existence to the parallel ones co-existing with ours. Hell, for all I know it could rip a window into another and then everything’ll be jacked up.

I am excited for the potential of this project. It could mean an end to power shortage, an alternative to gasoline, and an enormous leap to understanding the origin of the cosmos. Also this information gave me a chance to hear Michio Kaku speak; something I’ve wanted for about three years now.

I know that people said the same thing about the Manhattan Project, how “it will destroy the world,” and all that…when we didn’t. My thinking very well may be constipated and fearful of the future, I just think this should be done in space. Not on our own planet, let’s fuck up another before our own. However, we are doing a pretty good job of it so far, why not go for broke.

the bar

The last week of training was horrible for me; I was mentally drained and-and just fucking hateful. So I needed a definite relaxation period, just get away and forget about cell counts, slide differentials, and cell maturation. So what do I do? I grab my wingman Nicholas and head off not expecting to return till Sunday…anything off-base, I didn’t care what, and just get drunk as fuck. Sad I know that we have to resort to alcohol in order to relax…but I am telling you, the simple luxuries not accommodated by the base mean so gorram much. Even a beer in a hot bath with calming music was blissful.

The next night was a little more, shall we say, “Eventful.” Again we drink excessively, but decided to wander about town. Unbeknownst to Nicholas or I, this part of the town was not…the “friendliest” part of town…heh, well it also was (you’ll see). The first establishment we entered turned out to be a private Mexican party/hoedown; the bar wasn’t the friendliest to a large Jew, and a small black guy. They actually kicked us out due to Nicholas being “underdressed.” OK, well I can understand that; he was wearing nothing but jeans and a wife-beater. So off we went.

The next bar we stumbled into was…heh, interesting. Everybody was really nice and friendly, pretty much the opposite of the Mexican bar we recently departed from. However, there was one hell of a weird vibe in there, the guys were being…unusually friendly towards me. Aaaaand pretty soon the drag show began. At this point, everything clicked into place and made sooo much sense. It was a gay bar. Nicholas and I had stumbled into a gay bar. It definitely explained why there was an odd vibe, why the men were overly flirtatious, and the girls were showing absolutely no interest in me. Not that I’m really, really, ridiculously good looking…well ok, I am, but still, someone other than a guy should have smacked my ass…which one did. The funniest part of the night was when Nicholas walked across the stage while a “girl” was “performing,” some guy was gonna punch him over it. Let me elaborate on the situation: The Mexican dude looked about 5’8” and 300 plus pounds; Nicholas is 5’1” and 125 pounds. So you can imagine how great it was when a drunken Nicholas gets confused and just stares down at this Lummox sitting and overflowing in the small chair. To me it was inevitable Nicholas would be the first to instigate the fight, Nicholas is the kinda guy that won’t back down from anyone, so I, of course, was instantly on my feet ready to help my wingman if a fight ensues, also trying to think of a way to diffuse the situation. Luckily when I stood up, the dude shuts up and then tells us he’s about to get the manager, problem solved. Nicholas walks away and that was that…somewhat anti-climactic, funniest part though was during the entire confrontation, the Announcer’s trying to get the attention of my wingman in a very cliché flamboyant voice like: “no walking across the stage honey, that’s right you in the wife-beater sweet-thing” It was good stuff. Good night. Good night.

satire

Not normally, but lately I’ve been wondering about my unique brand of humor and “charm,” that marks me that irresistible me; that humor consisting of sarcasm dripping with shocking remarks. I’ve had the notion in my mind about what I think is funny, often it’s sarcasm and wit of the moment, usually caustic and if not…well abrasive; cutting deep into the situation and beyond. Usually I simply scoff at those that are offended. Hell, usually I’ll laugh at the fact that they’re offended. When confronted on the matter, I sneer, and continue to ridicule with more malice than before. Can’t help it…I’m an asshole. Today however, I read a phrase that got me thinking: “the Arrows of sarcasm are barbed with contempt…it is the sneer of the satire, the ridicule, that galls and wounds.” –Gladden

That gorram empathy kicked in and I felt for a fleeting moment a wave of guilt for those I vociferously vocally eviscerated with little remorse or compassion. The pang of guilt was ephemeral…but effective. Today the remorse remains…tomorrow, probably not (I’m just being realistic). So while I’m being momentarily sympathetic, I would like to formally apologize for being the insensitive prick I very well may be (am). Tomorrow it’s more than likely I’ll retract this…but what the hell.

…No! You know what? I’ve already changed my find. Men are satirical from vanity more often than from malice. Considering just how dashingly handsome I SO am, I have much reason. Heh-heh, I’m conceited. aaannnd …tangent: referencing another’s blog, fuck Ug Boots

OH, on a side note, I’ve found another task to accomplish before my brief life ends. I plan on punching a Hemophiliac. …right in the kidneys! C’mon, doesn’t that just sound like fun? Think about it; you get off work from a bad day, need to de-stress, you walk right up to one…and POW! Dude goes down screaming “Why?!” You just laugh and walk away a better person, in a better mood.

“With a wink of his eye, his friend made reply in his jocular manner, sly, caustic, and dry”

Hoho, good people I’m back once again to share some moments that tickled me, in such a manner that raises questions…?… Even I’m confused by that.

Yesterday my class was subject to a lecture on “equal opportunity in the Air Force” due to [;D] some people that had made some insensitive remarks towards others in the class. What made it hilarious was that it had been the “Caucasian” individuals being subject to the racial slurs. What was to be a half-hour lecture, turned into two and a half hours, it was awesome. The lecture amused me so much I just couldn’t contain myself; I began making absurd remarks, followed by questions that would leave the speaker speechless. Actually I began joking and flirting with the female Staff Sgt. Giving the lecture…maybe I went overboard, if not the flirting, it was in getting her to admit that midgets don’t deserve the respect or opinions awarded to others…that individuals involved in mocking them should be absolved of the punishment for being unsympathetic towards the vertically challenged.

I don’t care if I go to hell, this is too much fun.

Today was certainly something special. I had just returned to the squadron from the dining facility, when the heavens erupted all around me: lightning surrounded me, tearing through the sky in a terrifying display of power, thunder bellowing throughout the land, fat rain pounding the pavement and immediately swept away in mist by the powerful wind. There was even hail, large and dangerous combined with the wind. I stood there in front of the building, everyone around me scrambled about running from the onslaught of the storm… however; I just stood there, still as stone, with a grim expression chiseled on my face. I relished every fat drop of rain that bludgeoned my face as I took everything in. With every cracking thunderbolt and terrifying boom of thunder shaking my very core with a terrible furor, a devilish grin broke upon my face. Somehow the fear encompassing me brought about a serenity to my turbulent thoughts of late; I found this unorthodox baptism to be exactly what I needed.

Lately I’ve been slipping into a slight depression due to the fact that an individual such as myself having difficulty acclimating to military life. Oddly enough I have become rather homesick. Aside from the good people and friends I had in Medford, I miss the smallest of things: late-night walks, fresh tea, an occasional cigarette, especially my ambling’s. Walking aimlessly about Medford in the crisp weather, with my jacket zipped up, headphones in at full volume, a cup of coffee warming me from the inside out…perhaps a cigarette to accompany the coffee or tea, isolated amongst hundreds of people, alone with my thoughts; Perhaps it was the freedom of just going wherever I wanted with no direct mission. I’ve missed all this terribly, but this storm raised my spirits ten-fold. Why? I haven’t the faintest of an idea, but I aint gonna knock it if it’s workin.

I read this the other day, seems like a good end-point. “ideas are, in truth, forces. Infinite, too, is the power of personality. A union of the two always makes history.” –H.L. Menckan

i’m out

AHHhahahahahahahahahahahahaha…I’m out bitches!!!  and stories I have aplenty…oh yes.

I’ll start with this one.  Here at bmt you have to meet certain physical standards…something I’ve never been too great at (if you might have noticed).  well during the end of last week I was running the 2 mile quota in under 12 minutes, and struggling a little. Well Staff Sgt. Chadwick decided to give me some of his encouragement by demeaning me. he began running pace with me on my final lap…backwards (mind you I was still running fairly fast, this guy is freakishly fast when it comes to running).  for the most part I’ve been able to keep my smart-ass Comments in line…however, I was focusing on my breathing and pace. So when he said:

 ”look at me! I’m running backwards, and still keeping pace with you.”

Very sarcastically I blurt out: “Yes sir! and you continue to impress me EVERY day sir!!”

woops. you can imagine this was interpreted many a different way…but I can guarantee you it ended with me on my face “pushing” after I finished my run …Which I nailed by the way.  god I love being a smart-ass.

really this was but a taste I’ve gotta run, but I’ll be back on soon…especially since I’VE GRADUATED Basic Training!!!   Can I get a hooya Bulldogs?  (HOOYA BULLDOGS!!!)

Last night out

   So last night was my “last night out on the town.”  It was pretty cool I guess, It was the second time I’ve been to that bar since my 21st birthday.  For reasons unknown to me I’m insanely nervous at bars. Thinking about it It might be that I get slightly nervous and claustrophobic in large bodies of people. Can’t help it. Its almost like an overload of input, too much shit I’m taking in. …Buuuuttt, as the night progressed I got more and more smashed, and in turn more and more obnoxious.  At one point I was drinking two drinks at once…I mean sucking down two straws in my mouth at the same time.  Heh, at one point I made a toast to Black Friday, or to most Good Friday.  My toast involved something like ”to the day my people slaughtered your false messiah.”  I am always surprised I’m never punched when I go out. I mean really?  I go out–get drunk, and become obnoxiously caustic and offensive–but never get decked in the face. I love it!! 

   Oh yeah, this was a first.   We had been sharing this table thing with these three girls, one of whom Jay recognized as a girl that attended our old childhood church.  Jay tells me I should hit on her with something as Corny as “of course I recognize you, I’d remember a face that beautiful.”  well as intoxicated as I was I lean over and spark the conversation with remembering her, she says her name was… … …?…something, and well, very inebriated, I say in the creepiest way possible, “wow, youd think I’d remember a name that beautiful.”  …I know. Smooth right? Like Dean Martin and shit. 

all right– –I’m Out!

peace of mind

   Day-to-day emotions are really beginning to piss me off!!  One day I’ll be all jittery and excited–then pissed off the next day for being so jittery the previous day. …?!… [Is that weird? I'm pretty sure that's weird.] *sigh* Maybe I just need to stop over-analyzing every Gorram thing I do each day.  I’ve been trying to meditate like I used to, but I can’t seem to get back that focus. It isn’t like there’s more shit on my mind, hopefully there’s less, and yet It’s like my fracken brain won’t shut the frack up!  

   I realized this when the other day I had a brief moment of tranquility. I was ambling through town with no real agenda, going for a stroll as they say.  I passed by a tree and a leaf caught my attention. there was a dead leaf ready to fall from it’s branch, of course it shouldn’t hold much intrigue–but it’s a few days till Spring!!  I mean c’mon, why the frack is there a dead leaf amongst all this new life? [I'm gonna have to come back to this]    So yeah, I was staring at this leaf and for maybe 4 seconds I had been thinking of absolutely nothing but this leaf: the color, texture, the way it was desperately wishing to fall from the branch.  Basically I was thinking of nothing but this single thing, I relish these few moments of peace from the cacophony of garbled shite running through my head.  However, It did make me realize just how scattered my mind has been lately.  Whelp, there’s more things for me to ponder as I wander. [...heh. heh heh...AHAHAHA...*sigh* ohh, that amused me far more than it ever should]

all right, I’m out.   

goals

  As the rapidly approaching departure date draws closer and closer with that chubby little face, all my thoughts are consumed by it.  I’m freaking out in a big fracken way!  However, my thoughts are soothed by the comforting embrace of what may come in my future. so I’ve decided to make a list of what I hope, and strive for, in my coming days.  I figure aim high, why the frack not?  If I fail at something, I just have to try harder.

  Suddenly I’m not sure I’m quite comfortable actually saying my dreams out loud. I know they may seem rather impractical, but It’s what keeps me going day after day. I’ll just impart unto you my two most grand  ambitions. My greatest dream is to create a smash motion picture rich with my ideas and philosophies. hopefully get a message or two out there.  With the profits, open a chain of retail stores to fund Youth Centers and Women shelters.  The reasons for this are my own and personal.  I’ll just leave it at that. 

   The main reason for my joining the military is to get my schoolin on. Oddly enough it is my first ambition that will come last in preparation.  While in, I’ll be taking night classes and on-line classes, I plan on getting a degree in business. For some reason I think this will help me out somewhere down the road.  I’ve heard people tell me that I’m not being practical, and I’ve seen in the eyes of others that I wont accomplish any of my dreams…but I simply refuse to give up, and will continue to do so. thank you very much.

all right I’M OUT!!

ramblings

alright! so, today I decided to have a little fun and get drunk at an early hour. [and i mean early like "alcoholic" early...but frack it] 

well I must admit that I am still very much intoxicated…so this may not make a whole lot of sense. but rock and roll anyway, am I right? fuckin aye I’m right.

so I decided today that i am going to begin a project based on character driven plot.  I havn’t always appresiated them, generally I cast them aside as soap operas due to the fact nothing really happens and the smallest thing becomes huge. I kinda dig that now.  I mean how better to gain an audience than to have them relate entirely with it. I could come up with an amazing storyline, but it could suck hard if no can get into the characters and relate in some way.   Mostly my works are involving tragedy plots. (I know, big surprise yeah?)  But I was just hit by a huge frackin truck called inspiration, it opened huge new doors to me (and they’re the cool revolving ones I loved so much as a child)…and windows, and even some skylights or two. hmm?… I was fascinated by the fact that these works are intense and emotional,  while delivering gut-wrenching dialogue, attachment and a plot line (while weak) deep and emotional.   I have a script already done, but i’m completely redoing it now. I’m going to write a tangent script in this different style. it may not be better, but it’s practically almost a different medium in film. I’ve psyched to try this out, just to see if this plot can work a couple of different ways. if not I can just use part of it in an improved version. hells yes. excitement. ’bout fracken time.

hmmmmmmmmm?…oh yeah, I had a conversation yesterday with a friend about stress and the breaking point in people. lets be honest, everything and everyone has one. hell, even my brother Jorma is studying to become a mechanical engineer and he can verify, that scientifically speaking, everything has a structural integrity with a breaking point. it’s inevitable.  Let it be a bridge or a human body…even a soul has a limit to which it can endure. though he doesn’t believe in a emotional breaking point. he’s under the impression that one must always, under every moment, push themself to the ultimate extreme. Yes, that can be a helpful stance in life, it can als be detrimental.  Yes it’s good to push beyond what you think you can do, but that just seems extreme.  Shouldn’t there be a time to stand back and choose whether or not it’s appropriate?  I don’t know, maybe it was brought up because of my fear knowing that I will be pushed in the military…and well, of course my inability to not push back.  I can’t help it, I hate to admit it, But I have a serious problem with authority. wait…no, I have a huge problem with stupidity in authority.  I fear that I may snap while in the military and be dishonorably discharged, maybe I can’t “Hack” it.  Maybe I get too pissed off and end up punching  a D.I. in the throat.  nothing is more terrifying than the unknown, and my future is most certainly that.  Maybe I’m freaking out for no reason, maybe I’m perfectly justified, maybe I have no frackin clue as to what I’m rambling about. meh, I don’t much care anymore!

OH! yeah that whole stupidity in authority thing reminded me of something a little while back. I want to give an example of a retarded cop, and my inability to not be a smart-ass.  My friend Matt and I run for excersise late at night after work, Sadly it had been snowing for two days and the roads were covered in Ice…not the safest place to run. So we decide to go to the North Medford high school’s track.when we had just begun to run a Douche cop and turkey bacon pull up and call on their loudspeaker to get off the premis. Now we weren’t being suspicious or anything, dressed in full running atire, even wearing music bands, we were obviously just getting excersise. But no. they yell at us about twice and we head towords tham, and halfway one yells that he’s “gonna drag us out of there.”  Without being able to think twice I yell “Are you still fucking talking?!!”  matt looks at me with huge eyes and a mouth slightly agape in disbelief, and I realize what i had just done. Captain Smart-ass strikes again.  I know that not all cops are retarted, just this one.

Hello Blogoshpere!

This is my first entry and it’s being entered by the badass blogger Jason Steele!